Part II

Continued from previous post.

Admittedly, the "something" that happened wasn't that big. There are basically two German-Jewish customs that I was aware of. One is a penchant for over-dressing on Shabbat. In my grad school days I regularly treated Friday night prayer services as formal or semi-formal events, though I am mellowing a bit now. The other, somewhat famously cited German Jewish custom, is a change to the order of pre-meal rituals.

German Jewish custom: ceremonially wash hands --> Kiddush (sanctification of Shabbat over wine) --> blessing over the bread

Everyone else in the Jewish universe:  Kiddush --> ceremonially wash hands --> blessing over the bread

The one place where I know this to come up is the Jewish Theological Seminary, where on the Sukkot holiday they host these big, wonderful meals. After everyone has found their tables, someone gets on the mic to say that it's a German custom to wash before Kiddush, and tonight everyone's following that custom. (After some hours online, I have learned that the Conservative Movement is a big fan of this system, but only when a large group of people are eating together and it would be cumbersome to get up from the table.)

While I now have a pretty solid understanding of this custom vis-a-vis Jewish law, I was mostly going with the fact that it felt right when, about a month ago, I decided to start washing before Kiddush. My feeling was that, if the purpose of washing hands was to remove ritual impurities, then why would one intentionally keep those ritual impurities upon one's hands while praising God and drinking sanctified wine? After all, as the psalmist says, "Who may climb to God's holy place? One who has clean hands and a pure heart" (psalm 24).

As it happens, my reasoning has nothing to do with the actual reasons for the custom to wash before Kiddush.  Still, it was the reason I cited when I shared my decision with S---, along with  an aside about my past thoughts on a German minhag. A few days later, I went deep into internet research mode.

The two most noteworthy facts I learned about the custom of washing before Kiddush are as follows:
1) Jewish law cannot provide a very solid defense for this behavior. In fact, the survival of this custom is an example of family minhag trumping rabbis with big books of facts.
2) Chazal (i.e., the biggest, brightest rabbis from waaaaay back when) were in the habit of washing before Kiddush.

I also, it turned out, ignited S---'s interest and enthusiasm at the idea of picking up minhag Ashkenaz (German Jewish customs.) To that end, we have bought a book. After all, this is America. If I want to learn about something I can't easily pick up from Wikipedia, it's time to head to the bookstore.

At this time, we have a copy of one Shorshei Minhag Ashkenaz, bright-eyed enthusiasm and a readiness to put down some oddly logical roots.

Deep Roots, New Roots

In my latest bout of iconoclasm, I've decided to follow German Jewish customs.

It took me a while to grow into this decision.  My sense is that when one converts to Judaism, one should choose a particular minhag (custom, though in this case the word has culture-of-origin overtones) and practice Judaism through that minhag's prism. However, nobody told me that I needed a minhag when I joined the tribe, and for a while I maintained a snotty-nosed, "Well, nobody told me I had to pick one" attitude.

For years though  I was attracted to the idea of learning and adhering to German Jewish customs. I'm a Jew of German descent, and even though that German descendancy isn't Jewish, it still seemed like a nice way to go. However, I didn't consider this idea too deeply or too practically. After all, I reasoned, although I was attracted to the idea of going Yekke, I was sooner or later bound to marry someone. That someone most likely came from somewhere non-Germanic (German-descended Jews making up just a tiny portion of the Jewish immigration to America post-1880). That someone would likely feel a not-uncommon twinge of discomfort at things German. If it was my whimsy versus that someone's gut-negativity, then there was no question that that someone's family tradition would prevail.

And so it was that I never looked too deeply into German Jewish customs. Ironically, I lived in Washington Heights in upper Manhattan for a year, in the heart of the largest and most solid German Jewish community in the world, and I never looked too hard at the culture.

After I left Washington Heights I moved south to Washington DC (I'm fond of W's), where I was dating S---. It just so happens that S--- (name concealed, Victorian-novel-style) has strong German ancestry, his grandparents having moved from Germany to New York when S---'s father was young. No one in S--'s family is particularly observant, so what traditions we keep are pretty much mainstream traditional-halakhic-egalitarian-observant-minyan-lovin' Judaism. Through the courtship process I didn't think about S---'s ethnic background as relating to my desire to take on a German minhag.

And then, something happened....


To be continued.